Meera

It was a rainy Sunday in Old Delhi. Meera picked her milk packets and paced up the staircase of the old ,sweet apartment she lived in. It almost looked like it was in ruins but was safe for living - atleast Meera assured herself of that. As she climbed, she bumped into her favorite uncle in the apartment. "Hello uncle, kaise ho aap? " She inquired smiling. "Bohot theek beta-" He said, "-Bas in bacchon ko bolo koi protest votest mai mat nikle" pointing at his teenage grandson. "Arre government toh gir gayi, ab protest kis baat ki bhai? " She asked Rohan- clearly seeing her younger self in him- impulsive, impatient. "Yeh koi protest nahi hai didi, sirf kuch demands hai hamare-" He said, "Aur didi aap rehne deejiye, aapki sarkari naukri hai ,nahi toh aap hamaare saath baithe hoti"." Haan bhai ", Meera winked at him smiling " Jo bhi karo, just play safe okay? "." Haan didi" He said and disappeared downstairs to his group of friends. It wasn't a big deal really, at least not as big a deal Rohan made it sound like. After the election results were declared last week, an unhappy mob broke glasses and created chaos at Raghu uncle's kirana shop on the very same street. These fighters set out to demand a compensation or at least an apology.Small or big an issue, she loved these kids' spirit. Meera entered her little apartment. It looked quite old ,very unlikely of what better her salary could afford. Yet, she stuck by. It's been four years and she did everything to make this little old space a beautiful home. She hung her art pieces on the walls which had stains and cracks from ageing- each of which, of course, she had an aesthetic appeal for. Blue and pink pastel colored curtains made way to her little balcony. She made tea for herself and stood by the balcony wall, glancing down the bustling street. She was lost in thoughts, she wondered how the new coalition government could do any better than the previous one- the coalition had a huge number of parties. "That's not particularly nice", she told herself. She watched Nazia aunty and Drishti shop together. Her heart felt warm with happiness. She waved at them, they waved back. She could smell the rain-" Ah, this is what freedom smells like! ".Meera was living the life of her dreams. She sipped hot tea from the cup as a notification flashed on her mobile screen, it was from Aakash. She opened the message which read " Hey Meera! Hope you're doing great. We're doing great here, and why I'm texting you? It's my son's first birthday. I hope you can make it. It's on the twelfth of July, a week from now. " Meera smiled instantly, she was happy " Hey Aakash! Great to hear from you after sooo long. How's Maya? And I'm afraid, I cannot make it, I have a very important meeting scheduled for the same day, I so wish I could make it. I'm really sorry" She replied. Another text from Aakash read- "That's just fine, just make sure you come to meet us sometime, Maya is a big fan of your photography and art. I'll have to leave now and text other friends, bye! If there's any chance, do come okay? ". " Sure! Byee", Meera replied. This was the longest conversation Meera and Aakash had in last three years. They sure exchanged laughs on the college friends group chat but not a personal message, of course since Aakash's marriage invitation.

They didn't really talk you know, after that day some four years ago. That day was a Sunday, Aakash dropped in at Meera's place, greeted her dad - who was very sure then that they'd get married. He made his way to Meera's room and gave her a surprise hug. He congratulated her for being appointed for the very job she's doing till this day. "Aakash,-" she said. "We need to talk. ". He sat down and paid attention. " I don't want this anymore ", she said. " What do you mean you don't want-" , he sounded shattered. "I'm really sorry, I don't want this relationship anymore", she said. " I want to go to Delhi and live alone, that's something I want more than anything else now in life. I'm not ready for marriage, I'm not in for this. " Meera said, with no trace of sorrow in her tone. " But Meera, we don't have to marry now, we can marry whenever you wish to. " Aakash said almost breaking apart. He still couldn't believe all she was saying was no dream. "Aakash, I want to give myself time. I'm going to a complete different city away from my family. I'm toxic to you. " She said. "I don't want you Aakash", she broke apart a six year old relationship. Aakash broke down, he knew she wouldn't change her decision. He held her wrist pulled her close and said, " For one last time. ". He hugged her and cried and cried " I love you Meera", he said. She didn't hug him back, she said instead, "I hope you won't go out there and make a scene trying to make my dad convince me. " He let go of her, it was the most hurtful thing that someone had said to him and that someone was Meera herself. He said, still trying to compose himself from all the sobbing " Meera, I never forced you on anything, I'm not forcing you on this. " He left, not saying a word later. Meera left for Delhi the very next day.

Meera was sure happy living her life but there were times she missed her family- her dad,mom and brother. She hadn't heard a word from Aakash later, nor she put any efforts. She only knew he had gotten married to Maya, a nice girl from his town. It was an arranged marriage. She couldn't attend due to work commitments, she congratulated them later. Maya gave Aakash his own space to get over his wounds. Only a year after marriage, Maya had confessed her love for her husband and told him it's okay if he doesn't feel the same."Don't rush it okay? It's going to be fine. I'm with you",Maya said giving him a comforting hug. Aakash made a difference,he hugged her back and you can guess, they lived happily afer.

Meanwhile, Meera kept making her trips to home once in every two months. She sure loved her independent Delhi life and work but every time she came to stay with her parents, she felt like a kid again, more vulnerable than ever. Her dad would keep her updated with the "family news", mom would make her her favorite food and brother would play with her when he'd be back home from work.They'd dine together and share hearty laughs.

On one of the days she was packing to get back to Delhi, they had this short family conversation. Her brother said, " Didi, I want you to come back to our city and settle down now"."What do you mean "settle down"? " She asked furiously. She shifted her eyes on to her dad,she could see the desperate look on his face-of dying to have his daughter by his side. Her dad stiffened and said, "My daughter knows what she wants, she'll do it when she feels is required. " Meera could cry looking at her ageing father's face which hid all pain behind a simple smile, just to keep assuring his daughter of her decisions in life. Going back to Delhi after every stay at home was so difficult for her. She wanted her family, she wanted this life too. She'd tear up sometimes but still keep going.

She felt all of it this day, this rainy Sunday again, after reading Aakash's invitation for his son's birthday. She wanted to free her mind and fell asleep. She woke up after hours feeling the same, it was evening and the rain was about to subside. The memories of her then perfect relationship, happy family flashed by. This wasn't the first time. She tucked into her blanket, feeling as though Aakash was holding her from behind and comforting her. She was hallucinating, of course, she didn't mind whether it was okay to think of a married man/ ex like that. Only this could comfort her. She asked "the guy on Instagram seems so much like me, should I go further on this? "." Of course, you should look forward to meeting as many people as possible in life" She felt Aakash repeating his age old college advice all in her head. The rain had subsided and the clouds made way for the late sunshine .Tears rolled down her cheek. As the sunlight glistened her face in the empty room, she felt the warmth and said picking herself back up "That's beautiful! This is worth living for" .